Bummer

Bummer.

You sit down and start to write a short story.  Or a novel.  Or a movie script.  You slave over the keyboard.  You bleed all over your computer screen.  You litter the keyboard with cake crumbs and spill coffee . . . or bourbon . . . or Coke . . . everywhere.

It's a fraken war.  It's like dragging a nine hundred pound gorilla through the front door of a baby's doll house.

Okay, Pookie.  Time's up. Time to throw that piece of shit out and start over.

No--I'm not kidding.  It's time to go.

Let's face it, the real artist in you isn't too thrilled about what you're writing.  In fact it thinks it's . . . well . . . . literately a piece of shit.  So why fight it?  The real artist in you knows what's good for you.

The real artist is the subconscious.  Your subconscious.  That strange old man who lives in the basement and is never seen when the sun's out.  Day in/day out he's down there pounding away on the keys writing something.  And you--the fresh faced, pimple-assed young kid living up on the top floor (the conscious, bucko!) damn well better listen to the Ole' Man.  And nine times out of ten you do and don't even know it.  When the story flows like the biblical Honey of Plenty, when your fingers fly over the keys and the story just rolls out, that's when you and the Ole' Man are on the same page.

But when the story declares war on you and won't take any prisoners--nor expect to be taken prisoner-- well then, Pookie;  you know now what to do.  It's the Ole' Man is talking to you.

Want my advice?

Listen to the Ole' Man.  He'll  save you hours upon hours of useless rewrites.  And a few gray hairs.

Writing the short story

Writing the short story. How do you do it?

Got a theory/idea on what constitutes a great short story?

Yes . . . and no, baby. I do and I don't. For the last 18 months I've been writing a lot of short stories. Playing with them. Slicing and dicing and trying to come up with a form that moves with a smooth flow; like drinking the first glass of Coke Cola of the day (my preferred drink). Kinda goes down the throat with a hot kick and a squirming growl--but tastes soooooooooo good doing it!

What I've come up with is this. First, I like innuendo in telling a story instead of throwing a brick through a store front window. What you imply in the story is as important as saying something. Critically so--since it gives the reader the luxury of allowing his imagination to build all kinds of mental images and implications around the main story.

Secondly, Raymond Chandler had it right: brevity in dialogue. Short, vicious body punches straight to the gut when it comes to dialogue. Crisp, tight dialogue--and not too much of it--is the icing on the cake. It offers the best vehicle for you to spring that surpise ending. Or tug the emotional strings of the heart in a profound way.

Thirdly--and possibly controversially--leave a few holes in the plot. Yes, the plot has to make sense. If the plot isn't laid down into a believable carpet, everything else falls to pieces. But it's not important to explain every detail. Again, it goes back to the Number One thingee--the implications. Half the joy for a reader, I think, is figuring out how the crime/hit/love note/whatever . . . was actually done/created.

Fourthly--one sentence descriptions. Vivid descriptions to describe scene settings, people, actions. In one sentence (not one sentence for all! One sentence for each item). Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely critical.

There. That's it. The Perfect Short Story!!

Or is it?

You tell me.

A few 'suggestions' when it comes to writing hardboiled

Yesterday a good friend, Joyce Juzwik, wrote a guest blog in here concerning the ten 'rules' a writer had to observe in order to write hardboiled or noir fiction. If you read the blog you had to notice Joyce had some clear objections to the rules. I did too.

Hard clad 'rules' are always made to be broken. Along comes that unusually gifted and talented writer, and 'rules' go out the window. I, for one, would never be so presumptious as to set down a set of rules for writers to follow. One reason being that, hey . . . how many readers have heard of my illustrious name? (answer--maybe my wife; a couple of good friends. And bill collectors. That's it, buddy!)

But if I may, let me offer a few 'suggestions.'

One: Don't be afraid to write. Write every day. Experiment. Play with words. Make a fool of yourself. Sooner or later it'll start to make sense. To click. And voila! You've found a style you can call all your own.

Two:Related to the above somewhat, don't be afraid to out-and-out copy the masters. You gotta start somewhere, so starting out writing a story that sounds like Earl Derr Biggers (the creator of Charlie Chan)or any writer you admire,
can't be all bad. Just remember, though--the goal is not to become a second Earl Derr Biggers but to begin the process of finding your own road to travel down.

Three:Make the opening chapter, the opening two pages, absolutely mind-boggling. The goal is to capture the reader's interest and never let'em go. Do it immediately. And keep building on it all the way to the end.

Four: Yes indeedy--introduce the killer(s) as early as you can in the story. But disguise them. Throw them into a gaggle of other geese who, each one of them, have just as much a reason to be the bad guy as the next schmuck.

Five: Don't be afraid of sub plots. Sub plots that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the main plot. But make them key on some trait of the hero/bad guy. Making the hero/bad guy more of a complex character helps keep the reader's interest keyed up. Subplots are built for that.

Six: Pay attention to dialogue. Make it sound as real as possible. But for god's sakes . . don're rely on dialogue to carry the entire novel down the road without other foils to help out. A novel with nothing but dialogue is about as worthless as an empty beer keg. And just as depressing.

Seven: If you're thinking about writing a series (and aren't we all?) pay attention in writing the last chapter. The last few pages. Wrap up the action--but don't make it 'final,' if you get my drift.

Eight:Finally, whenever you find someone who wants to give you a set of rules on how to write, turn around and run like hell in the OPPOSITE direction. Following'rules' is the best way in the world to stiffle creativity. Hell, we have lit agents and book reviewers for that task. Let's not deprive them of their miserly little pleasures in life.

Hey! Are you running yet? No? Why the hell not?!

Make It Familiar To The Reader

Yesterday we talked about getting the weapons right. Today let's talk about adding little things into the story that a reader can instantly identify and feel comfortable knowing they are there.

I have two characters named Turner Hahn and Frank Morales. Homicide detectives. One of them, Turner, fell into a pot load of money from an inheritance. So he indulges in his hobby of buying old American made muscle cars and rebuilding them himself.

His favorite is a '67 Shelby Mustang 350.

But he has others. And throughout the novel(s) he and his partner exchange rides and drive a different car. The cars, predictably, become magnets to a lot of readers and keep them involved with the story. I planned this from the beginning. I knew this would happen--and sure enough, from the comments I've heard from a few who have read the stories, the muscle cars do exactly what I thought they would.

Readers identify themselves with the cars. They've had one in their past; their father or mother had one. A friend had one when he was a teenager and they had balls of fun with it.

What it does is rekindle old memories. Past times.

And rekindling old memories make the cars become magnets. Or, more likely, sticks of glue. They stick the reader into the story and make it more personal. Which is, frankly, what a good writer should endeavor to do. Not just write a story. But write a story and make it personal. Make it 'his' or 'her' story. 'Cause I gotta tell'ya; make a story personal and you've hooked that reader for life. They'll come back over and over again to read more of your stuff.