Sunday, August 21, 2011

So today I thought I would share the opening scenes of a movie I'm slowly . . . very slowly trying to write.  It's a Turner Hahn/Frank Morales film.   Called Dubious Intent.

It's based off one of the Turner/Frank short stories I wrote some time back.  As you know, Turner and Frank or homicide detectives.  So yeah, it's a police-procedural kind of movie. 

I want it to make it visually unique.  And I want to fold quite a bit of music into it.  Michael Mann comes to mind to compare the style I'm trying to convey.  But Mann's work is not quite what I have in mind.  I want to rely more on John Ford's sparsity of dialogue and more on the images themselves in telling the story.  And of course, I want action.

In checking out the first scene you got to remember this;  it's a double-image screen.  Two different sets of action are going on at the same time.  Confusing to explain.  But I'm thinking it's gonna be visually stunning to behold. 

Or maybe I'm just biting off too much to chew.  I dunno.

But tell me what you think.

Dubious Intent


(Double tracking-shots dividing the screen at the same time)




ANGLE SHOT NO. ONE: A man steps out of his bedroom and into a small hallway.

We see only the man’s TORSO and LEGS. He has on a

white SHIRT and a pair of tailored, expensive gray

SLACKS. As he walks down the hall we HEAR the hum


In the background we HEAR the grind of downtown traffic.

Screeching BRAKES—diesel engines—SIRENS wailing—

HORNS blaring.

SHAFTS of sunlight SLANT through big windows and

CREATE puddles of light on HARDWOOD FLOORS as

he walks through each.

ANGLE SHOT NO. TWO: The man enters a KITCHEN. The kitchen is PRISTINE

and SPARTAN in its cleanliness. He walks past a

REFRIGERATOR and PUNCHES the ‘play’ button of an

expensive stereo setting on the counter beside the frig.

Immediately MUSIC begins to play (The group, Deep

Dish, and their song FLASHDANCE)(the music plays

throughout the entire set of tracking-shots)

He TURNS to his LEFT and opens the frig’s door. He

grabs a long-neck bottle of beer and twist’s off the cap

and lift’s it to his lips. We SEE only the man’s strong

CHIN and a thin, well cropped black MUSTACHE. He

takes a long PULL from the bottle, the turns again to

face the small kitchen TABLE setting in front of the frig.

ANGLE SHOT NO. THREE: On the table is a WHITE towel. On the towel is a

DISASSEMBLED .45 caliber KIMBER semi-automatic

pistol. The weapon is a COLD BLUE piece of machined

steel brightly POLISHED and deadly.

We SEE only his HANDS as he begins to

assemble the pistol. He does so LOVINGLY and


When assembled, the man reaches over to a kitchen

chair and grabs SHOULDER HOLSTER and WEBBING.

He INSERTS the gun into the holster and then sets the

holster and webbing onto the table before he begins to

button his shirt. Afterward he SLINGS over his shoulder

the holster and webbing and straps himself in. Reaching

over to a SECOND chair he grabs an expensive blue

SPORTS COAT and slides into it.

INT. LARGE GARAGE: The man exists through a door and begins DESCENDING

down set of wooden stairs. BELOW him is a long, narrow

garage floor filled with classic American-made MUSCLE

CARS of the 60’s though the 80’s. MUSTANGS,


immediately visible.

ANGLE SHOT NO. FOUR: He walks over to a large double-door steel CABINENT,

unlocks it, opens a door, and reaches in for a set of keys.

TURNING he strolls over to a 1967 GT 350 SHELBY

MUSTANG. The car is WHITE with RED racing stripes

running down the length of the car’s hood and roofline.

Sliding into the car he starts the engine. The deep,

powerful RUMBLE of the FORD V-8 is almost

SENSUAL to hear.

He slowly BACKS the MUSTANG up and then carefully

makes his way past the rest of his collection of cars and

EXITS out through a garage door.


stop in front of a large, well-kept RANCH STYLE suburban

home. In front of the house is a DEEP, LUSH green yard.

Littering the yard are BICYCLES, TRICYCLES, and an

INFLATABLE children’s swimming pool.

On the porch is a rather unusual looking MAN and his

NORMAL looking family. The man looks like a modern

day NEANDERTHAL. He has stringy red hair, apparently

no NECK and a thick, cement-block shaped HEAD.

His wife is absolutely GEORGEOUS. The four boys, all

under the age of TWELVE, each are normal looking.

The NEANDERTHAL kisses his wife on the forehead,

JOSTLES the hair of each of his kids, then TURNS

and JOGS his way to the MUSTANG.

EXT. DIFFERENT SHOT: Just as FRANK MORALES climbs into the car

a CELL PHONE rings. The phone belongs to the DRIVER.

TURNER HAHN reaches inside his sport coat and retrieves

the phone.


(close-up shot—revealing someone with a

strong resemblance to CLARK GABLE.)


(coming out of cellphone speaker)

Turner, there’s been report of gunfire

over on Crawford and Holmes. Some

black-and-white’s are in route now.

But I want you and Frank to check it out.


Sure, lieutenant. Be there in less

than twenty minutes.

EXT. SHOT: Mustang ACCELERATES rapidly from curb just as FRANK turns to

look at TURNER with a questioning glance.





ANGLE SHOT NO. ONE: A set of ELEVATOR doors open. In

the elevator is a woman. We SEE only her TORSO.

She is wearing a dark blue dress. Her FIGURE is


The woman moves out of the elevator. She moves

as if she has a PURPOSE and MISSION to

accomplish. BRISKLY she walks pasts DESKS

and WORK STATIONS which are currently

unoccupied. In the background we hear the

CLOYING sounds of MUSAK playing some

unrecognizable song.

ANGLE SHOT NO. TWO: The woman makes a RIGHT turn and enters a

private office. The office belongs to the corporate

owner—definitely MALE in DÉCOR. One wall is

LITTERED with the heads of BIG GAME trophies.

A second wall is FILLED with PHOTOS of the

corporate owner KNEELING beside fresh kills of


The woman walks across the LENGTH of the

deeply carpeted and SILENT office and comes to

a HALT in front of a huge glass-enclosed GUN

CASE. She UNLOCKS the case with a KEY and

reaches in and grips REMINGTON bolt-action

.308 caliber RIFLE. The weapon his a long, powerful

BUSHNEL telescope on it, along with a thick BULL

BARREL. Attached to the barrel is a TRIPOD.

Holding the rifle in her arms like a BABY she uses

one hand to open a drawer below the rack of guns.

From out of the drawer she removes ONE long,

GLEAMING brass cartridge. TURNING, she leaves

GUN CASE and the DRAWER open and walk’s toward

the office’s large OAK Desk setting just in front of


ANGLE SHOT NO. THREE: The woman GENTLY deposits the weapon

onto the carpet directly in FRONT of the window.

She then slips to the carpet and WRAPS the gun

into her arms. She SLIDES the bolt action BACK

and insert the cartridge into the FIRING CHAMBER.

We have, so far, not seen her face.

Cradling the rifle she PUSHES the muzzle gently

through a HOLE cut into the lower right hand of the

WINDOW. Lifting the rifle up, she LOWERS her

head and settles into a PRONE firing position. We

catch a GLIMPSE of bright PLATINUM blond hair.

A HAND reaches up and begins ADJUSTING the

view of the scope. SATISFIED she begins a WAITING


EXT. MORNING TRAFFIC: A BIRD’S EYE view of a long, straight city four

lane AVENUE jammed with bumper-to-bumper

traffic. On either side of the street is one

UNINTERRUPTED set of one or two-storied

commercial buildings. In the DISTANCE,

GLISTENING in the morning sun, is a

five-storied GLASS office building.

ANGLE SHOT NO. FOUR: In the INTERSECTION of the street is a

LINCOLN CONTINENTAL TOWN CAR. It is setting with its left turning signal blinking

WAITING to make turn.

Inside the car is the corporate CEO waiting

impatiently to make his turn. He is a man with a

HARD face. He once was an ATHELTE and he

is still in relatively good shape. But he has no

PATIENCE. His eyes have a HARD, CRUEL

look in them.


zero onto the PROFILE head shot of the man

in the TOWNCAR. At first the image is slightly

BLURRED but rapidly comes into FOCUS.

The man is centered into the crosshairs

ANGLE SHOT NO. FIVE: A FINGER curls around the TRIGGER of the

rifle. For a second or two it just TOUCHES

the trigger. But then we SEE it begin to

SQUEEZE slowly.

The rifle FIRES. The explosion of the firing is

DEFEANING. It LEAPS off the carpet but the

woman is in complete CONTROL.

EXT. LINCOLN TOWNCAR: There is an EXPLOSION of shattering GLASS.


passenger side of the car. The passenger side

WINDOW is COATED with blood and

brain matter.

The TOWNCAR is suddenly rocked from behind.

A JEEP CHEROKEE. The Jeep’s front end has

buried itself into the rear bumper and trunk of the

town car.

ANGLE SHOT NO. SIX: A young teenage boy gets out of the Jeep. He is

dressed in a high school LETTER JACKET and

is wearing blue jeans and SNEAKERS. Around him

IRATE drivers are honking their HORNS and screaming

obscenities at him as he walks up to the driver’s side

of the Lincoln. He too looks angry as he bends down

to peer into the car. But anger turns to horror as he sees

the BLOODY MESS within. He steps back, bends over

suddenly, and VOMITS all over the street.

INT. CORPORATE OFFICE: The woman, still WRAPED around the rifle like a

LOVER, wipes all of her fingerprints off the gun. She

then comes to her feet, walks to the gun case, and wipes

it clean of all prints. Satisfied all has been wiped clean

she turns and calmly walks out of the office and



EXT. SHOT—STORM CLOUDS. Tower thunderheads, moving like an ominous

gray/blue curtains, building up higher and higher

into what once was deep blue skies. The sounds

of distant THUNDER is heard rumbling repeatedly.

EXT. SHOT—PEDESTRIANS standing around on the sidewalks staring at the same

scene. HOT pedestrians. Definitely suffering from the GRUELING


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